So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
