He disabled his match.com account in front of me
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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