I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
