And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
