well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
