well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
