you have to choose: penises or morals?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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