totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
