I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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