So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Couch. On fire.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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