i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
