yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
