I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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