i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
