dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Holy shit dude........stairs
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
