never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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