But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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