How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
