It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
