i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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