Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
