best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
