Well apparently he's into motor boating.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
