Well apparently he's into motor boating.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize