Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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