everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
