i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
