Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
ugly people sure do ruin things
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize