Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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