i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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