If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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