and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
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Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
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Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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