sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
