dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize