please come you make the beer taste better
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
