he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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