I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
