Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
