Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
