I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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