Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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