thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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