YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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