Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
