he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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