Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
