i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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