you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
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My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
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I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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