Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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