i was born a porn star she said
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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