I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
either way he was missing a nipple.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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