The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
