do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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