these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
