I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
