all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
