I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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