She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
All the doctor said was why
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
