just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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