if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
