So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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