I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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