She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
