Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
