I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
