I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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