the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
