I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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