Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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