when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just pynch a tree in the face
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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